Life... Love... Holy Spirit...

I was just listening to ‘The Holy Spirit in the Head and Heart’ - Tim Mackie & Tyler Staton. It’s on YouTube on Tyler Staton’s channel and titled, ‘The Holy Spirit in the Head and Heart’.

Tim talks about the Spirit being the most real thing you feel, yet it’s not usually perceived by your main senses, and how people experience the Holy Spirit is diverse, it’s not unified or defined in a few simple ways.

Tyler then likens this to love and how you can’t define love, but you experience it so deeply and it just got me thinking, so I stopped the talk and started writing!

It got me thinking about the depth to all this.

I started thinking about how we feel love differently, at different times and in different ways. 

But we also always feel A LEVEL of love. But I don’t think level is the right word. Neither is amount. The amount doesn’t vary, I don’t think. 

Like when you look at your newborn baby (before you’ve realised they don’t sleep and you’re going to have to attempt to function regardless) - that moment when you look at them and you just FEEL so much. In with all those feelings is so much love. *

But, when that moment passes, you don’t love them any less. 

I think, later you’re just living alongside the noise of life, and it doesn’t decrease the love, but you’ve got a whole load of other emotions, facts, thoughts, people, expectations, responsibilities, interruptions that live alongside that love, whereas, when something hugely significant happens, those other things don’t matter, there’s only one thing in that moment that matters and I think that’s when love feels ‘bigger’ within you and within the moment because there’s room for love to just encompass that moment.

These are the moments that I think make people say, “you couldn’t feel the love in the room”. 

So, I think it’s always 100% love, 100% pure, 100% real, always. But, we experience it differently.

Thinking of how this has related to my life, I have loved my kids from the moment they were in my womb, without ever seeing them, before feeling a kick, before hearing them speak; I loved them. 

Now they’re 7, 9, 11 & 12 and I’ve navigated parenting 4 different little people through different seasons, I know there are times when my heart feels like it’s going to burst with love. It might be a one-liner they come out with and it has us in stitches and along with the laughter this intense love feels like it arrives. Or, they might ask to buy food for someone they see sat in a doorway in a sleeping bag. The compassion they feel fills me with gratitude that they see someone else’s need and want to practically support them, and a rush of love comes with it. 

Now… when they’re slamming doors, talking back, hurting me or each other either physically or with what they’re saying - I don’t feel that intense rush of love, I can feel an intense rush of frustration/anger/despair… but I don’t stop loving them. Underneath all of that, when the intense emotions of that moment have passed, there’s the love. It’s like a storm coming through and whisking up all the dirt, leaves and stones on the path and throwing them in the air; but when it all settles back down, the path is still there. That path is love. That love is the foundation that we walk through life on. 

But, love is more than a feeling. It’s an action. 

When I knew I was pregnant, I acted on that love by protecting my body. 

Now they’re living alongside me, I show love by guiding them as best I can. Learning and growing from both my mistakes and theirs, listening to them, teaching them the things I know and choosing to say no to other things so I can say yes to them.

And I think this is why Jesus says THE greatest thing we can do is love. Love God and love people. 

I’m thankful that love is diverse… because it means that how I show love still respects my boundaries, my personality, my mind and my body.

I can show love by choosing not to gossip about someone. 

I can show love by taking our left over meal to someone else.

I can show love by praying for the people who hurt me.

I can show love by listening to someone I disagree with, without the intention of proving them wrong. 

I can show love by learning from my mistakes, allowing myself to be changed and apologising often.

(I’m not saying I’m able to do all these things all the time… I’m very imperfect and it’s all a work in progress!!)

But what has just clicked as I’m writing this is that by showing this love to others… I’ve realised I am also loving God… at the same time.

‘Love God and love others’ isn’t 2 distinct commands. It’s one gift . It’s ONE, I think, because by loving others we ARE loving God. By loving God, we are loving his people. 

I FEEL love for God because I’ve had times when God’s come in hot to meet me, hold me, walk with me, teach me, call me to actively do something, or to call me to stop doing something. 

I guess, I feel that love because we’ve connected. They are real, tangible experiences.

So I guess I then show love to God by choosing to do those, sometimes hard, things he’s asked me to do. To pray for that person that hurt me is showing love to God, and to that person because I’m less likely to talk about them negatively or plot my revenge when I’m asking God to bless them!

By prioritising time to listen to God I’m listening to how he wants to grow me, shape me, change me. Me changing to become more like him automatically makes me more loving to the people around me - because his love brings joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility and self control.

By thanking him for never giving up on me despite all my screw ups keeps me humble, which stops pride from becoming a barrier between me and anyone else and allows me to really see people as God’s children and serve them with a level of joy and gratitude.

***

So… the ‘rush’ of love I said about feeling earlier, the one I think is actually us making room for what matters and what matters automatically allowing space for love to fill us… 

Are those moments the moments we really need to pay attention to? Are those moments the ones we should be allowing to shape us and change how we move forward?

Is love just MORE. Just more than we think, feel or imagine? More complex, yet more pure. 

This just reminded me of Ephesians 3:20, the Message version translates it as, ‘God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.’

Is what God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit doing … love? Just all the time - love? Is love the reason we’re alive? He breathes life into us… is that life, love? 

Do we feel those intense moments of love because that is a glimpse of heaven? Those feelings when everything feels *perfect* even for 1 seconds. Is love an overlap of heaven?

***

I then started thinking about how you hear, “I just fell out of love with them.” And I tried to process how this happens. 

 * This is just my thoughts!!! *

I think it has a lot to do with connection. 

Me and Matt have had multiple times in our marriage when we no longer wanted to be waking up next to each other. When life felt too complicated, too heavy, too broken, too painful to continue living every day together. 

When we’d been married 10 years, I bought an online marriage course. The information within the course didn’t mean a huge amount to Matt as every time someone mentioned God or praying he’d switch off… but the fact that for 6 (I think) weeks my parents looked after the kids every Friday night and we went and grabbed a take away then had uninterrupted time watching the videos and chatting. This helped us to see each other with nothing else in the way. It got rid of the interruptions, responsibilities, expectations… and allowed us to focus on what mattered most in that moment… so, I guess, it made room for love?

But, I guess also, both of you have to want to spend that time connecting. Which is hard.

With the Holy Spirit it’s different because they’re always ready and waiting for you to connect. Connection is possible every moment of everyday because they are IN every moment of everyday. It just takes us choosing to tune into that. Choosing to make that awareness the priority. I guess, that’s prayer. That’s what Paul talks about in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 “pray continually”. It’s that sense of always being mindful that in every moment the Spirit is intertwined everywhere and in everything.

*** 

We live in a world where love is breathed into us, and the devil spends his time trying to steal, kill and destroy that love.

He uses abuse. 

He uses mothers not loving their kids.

He uses addiction. 

He uses fear.

I was just reminded, “Pure love casts out all fear.”

I’ve looked it up and it’s in 1 John 4:18. ‘There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear. So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraid, because fear has to do with punishment.’

(And, just to clarify - none of us have been made perfect yet, but by walking with God and choosing to love, choosing to live with him - we take a step closer with every breath.)

Fear is used to divide. 

Fear is used to create war.

Fear is used to keep us isolated.

Fear is used to cause us to act and shout in ways that cause harm.

But what heals these things?

Someone else being a safe place for you, someone listening to you, someone showing kindness, someone welcoming you into their home and their life, someone being loyal to you, someone showing you your true worth and value - pointing out those nuggets of goodness you hold in you, someone saying no to buying you alcohol and getting up at 6am to go for a jog with you instead, someone acknowledging the reality of them but calming your fears, reminding you that our God is more powerful than any fear you hold. 

Someone connecting with you through acts of love.

Love overcomes evil. 

As Martin Luther King Jr put it:

“Darkness can not drive out darkness, only light can do that.

Hate can not drive out hate, only love can do that.”

Love is a feeling, an action… and the reason we’re alive?

… and now I’m going to listen to the rest of the Tyler Staton & Tim Mackie talk because I only got halfway through!

*I wanted to acknowledge that not every person giving birth feels a rush of love - and that’s perfectly okay. There are so many situations, so many emotions, so much in each of our lives that means that even though we experience similar situations (like giving birth), it doesn’t mean our experiences are the same.

For me, I felt differently with each one at the birth, but at some point with them I had a moment of quiet where I simply stared at this new little human that had made it’s way to our lives and felt intense love. 

If you know me, you’ll know I also had postnatal depression after one of the kids, so I will always encourage mums and dads to go and talk to someone about this crazy world we get thrown in because you need to hear different perspectives and feel supported as you raise a whole new human! 

**As I was writing this, Marshmallow (one of our dogs) had come and lay on me. Lola came in excitedly talking to me about an idea she had, then as she turned to run back out the room she said, “love you Marshy.” Gave him a quick stroke and left. **

Love. Just Love.

11th May 2025 - Serving & Pride

Mum sent me some thoughts she’d read about ‘How to Serve Like Jesus’ from the Verse of the Day on the Bible app. It was about when Jesus was washing the feet of his disciples (John 13:14) and made me think about how much pride naturally sits in our lives and how important and healthy it is to continually address that. Not that we shouldn’t feel good about things that we do, but more about stopping pride form building into entitlement and a ‘that’s someone else’s job’ mentality.

So, you can find what mum sent me by downloading the Bible app and reading the verse of the day from 9th May.

My thoughts are…

I think when you stop and imagine yourself as a disciple of Jesus with the way you naturally think being expecting a servant to wash your feet, to see someone you greatly value, love and respect do something deemed ‘below’ them; and then for Jesus to calmly and quietly follow it through despite your objections and allow that change to process in you to the point of acceptance in a deeply humbling experience, I think it’s challenging to think in our culture, ‘what do I naturally think is someone else’s job?’ , ‘what do I expect someone else to do?’

Even if you do a lot for others, even if you pick up the random piece of rubbish on the pavement and keep it until you find a bin, even if you go out your way for others, I think it’s very easy for pride to seep in and brings excuses like, ‘why should I?’ , ‘I’m in a hurry’ , ‘hopefully someone will do that’.

Doing things for others, even though you don’t do it for the thanks, still brings a sense of pride because most of the time you will get a thank you.

So I think there will always be something you can choose to do that will take you through that process of humility again and I think things that no-one sees or knows about are more powerful. Choosing to pick up every piece of rubbish you see on a walk and sticking it in your pocket even though there might not be a bin nearby or you’ll get dirty hands, or you’re just on a quick walk. Choosing to think, ‘what can I do for someone else today?’ Before thinking, ‘what do I need to get done today?’. I think those things help keep pride further down and humility further up, and choosing to do it slowly and purposefully I think helps us walk in step with God and see the things he sees in this world.

I don’t want these blog posts to be just me talking, I’m just one perspective! So if you wanted to, I’d love to know your thoughts too, I love a discussion!

23rd April 2025 - Hope & Joy

I have so many thoughts that I jot down when I’m listening to podcasts or talks on YouTube that I figured sharing them on here might be a good way to go!

I was just listening to a Stephanie Ike Okafor talk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rZJZALQ3qw) and wrote this down…

To “give your life to God” isn’t giving as much as it is laying down your life. Laying down your life that gets corrupted and manipulated so easily by darkness; and receiving Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice in return. Receiving continued mercy for our human mistakes, grace to get up and try again, forgiveness to eliminate shame from our body. We get to be made new. Again. And again. We get to be used by God in his story of redeeming a corrupt world. We get to see, and be, heaven on earth.

When I first had the desire to create something different, a different way of thinking about mental health and just our overall health in general, God gave me the information for The HUNTER Method.

I put all the information together and created booklets, then when it came to share it I suddenly thought, ‘this would reach more people for you God if I took out all the scripture and music linked to you so people don’t think it’s just for people who know you’ 🤦🏼‍♀️ … a couple years later, God has reminded me that HE is the healer! He is the one who uses the words to translate personally into the lives of everyone who comes across them and lead them to a life of freedom.

So, 6 years later, I’m back to try again… and to walk with God and be used as his vessel with hopefully less facepalm moments!

When you lay your life down at the feet of Jesus your eyes are opened to so much hope and joy around you.

Yes, you still experience hard times.

Yes, sometimes those moments are unimaginably difficult, and I’m here to simply sit in the sadness with you in those moments.

But, in time, I’m also here to spot where God’s light is piercing through into your story and sit in those moments too.

I’ll leave it there and keep it short and sweet for the first post!!

(Don’t panic, my personality hasn’t completely changed, I’m writing a book to fulfil that desire to just write forever! 😆)

Lis x